July: Soulfulness
This is the first, wildest and
wisest thing I know,
that the soul exists,
and that it is built
entirely out of attentiveness.
—Mary Oliver
Summer is the most soulful season, isn’t it? It is the time when our world is most active, bursting with life, color, and sound. In spring, we begin to get a taste of our world coming back to life. But in summer, life is in full, soulful technicolor swing.
In writing about soulfulness this month, I turned to some of my favorite writers and thinkers on the topic, including Mary Oliver, Adrienne Maree Brown, Thomas Moore, and Francis Weller.
This is a big topic with a lot of dimensions, and I wasn’t sure quite what to say about it. What is soulfulness? Why is it important? And how can we practice it?
As Thomas Moore discusses in his book Care of the Soul, soulfulness is a quality of being, a way of engaging with life. And as Mary Oliver states above, the prerequisite of soulfulness is attentiveness. So, I think of a soulful person as someone who is very attentive and engaged with life—present, deeply feeling, and compassionate.
Our world today often feels disconnected, apathetic, shallow, and cruel. Taking in the news about forced starvation and genocide, mass deportations carried out by masked people in plainclothes, bombs dropping, and species collapsing often leaves me feeling dreadful and hopeless.
As Adrienne Maree Brown and Francis Weller have discussed, we are seeing and experiencing a phenomenon known as soul loss, which is a condition in which part of a person’s soul leaves their body due to extreme stress or trauma, allowing them to engage in horrific acts against other human beings, animals, and our planet. Soul loss, or soullessness we could call it, can also be seen as a form of dissociation.
In a world where we bear witness daily to people behaving in ways that leave many of us asking ourselves, “How could someone do that?” I turn to soulfulness as an antidote, a soothing balm, and a refuge.
By practicing soulfulness, we invite our souls to return fully back to ourselves and to reside in concert with our physical bodies. Then we can live from a place of soulful relationship with ourselves, others, and our world. A soulful disposition is an inherently joyful and peaceful way of being.
So, how can we be more soulful? I’ll share a handful of my favorite practices for cultivating soulfulness:
Spending time with soulful people, which restores my faith in humanity. For me, a soulful person is genuine, present, caring, and engaged with life. When I’m around soulful people, I feel more alive. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, because it’s less about the activity and more about the connection, but eating good food, listening to good music, dancing, taking walks, or just sitting around and visiting are some of my favorite activities to do with soulful people.
Spending time outside moving my body. This can be alone or with others, and can be a walk in my neighborhood checking out the flowers and listening to the birds singing, riding my bike, or strolling on the beach if I’m lucky. As Thomas Moore says, the soul feels at home in the natural world and we can nourish a sense of soulfulness by connecting with the world around us.
Doing any kind of meaningful contemplative work like listening to a podcast, reading, writing, meditating, or doing breath work. I especially find lovingkindness meditation to be some beautiful soul work.
Doing anything that is creative and joyful. This helps me to counter the sense of destructiveness that seems ever present. Planting flowers, baking, making art, blowing bubbles, rearranging the furniture: the possibilities are endless.
Engaging in anything selfless, helpful, or charitable, like picking up garbage off the street, buying someone a meal, donating to charity, or volunteering with a group that is adding to the greater good.
Anything that induces a sense of awe, like stargazing, standing in front of the ocean, or watching hummingbirds pollinate. The feeling of awe, by the way, has recently been deemed an “emotional superfood” by neuroscientists.
While listening to a recent episode of one of my favorite soulful podcasts, Pulling the Thread with Elise Loehnen, I came across the work of Chip Conley and his Modern Elder Academy. In the interview, he describes his belief that what we commonly think of as the midlife crisis is actually a crisis of the ego. For the first half of our lives, he says, our egos are in control. But somewhere around the age of 50, the primary operating system of our lives switches from the ego to the soul. If this transition goes well, then the ego takes a back seat and our soul begins to be the primary leader; we begin to live more wisely, courageously, and authentically (i.e., more soulfully). But if the ego resists and fights back, this results in what we commonly call the midlife crisis.
Conley’s philosophy reminded me of Carl Jung’s belief that “life begins at 40.” Perhaps the span between 40 and 50 is when the baton hand-off really begins to accelerate. As someone who is between these two points, I would say that feels accurate.
That said, I want to clarify that while it may be true that our egos are (mostly) in control for the first half of our lives, I have known many extraordinarily soulful young people. I don’t think wisdom and soulfulness are necessarily tied to chronological age. Perhaps soulfulness is best expressed in a meaningful relationship and shared leadership of both the young and old, who can combine vibrancy and novel ways of thinking with the patience and wisdom that comes with years of life experience.
And as we are currently contemplating the impending loss of one of the world’s most cherished elders—the teacher, scholar, and author of more than 13 books—Joanna Macy, I am reminded of one of the most soulful ideas I have ever heard: that our world does not need more successful, wealthy, beautiful, or perfect people. What we desperately need, more than anything else, is people who are soulful, because soulfulness is a state of being that is inherently loving, connected, compassionate, and respectful of all life.
So, what is one small thing that awakens and calls your soul fully back to your body? Whether it’s sipping a glass of fresh squeezed lemonade, soaking in the bird song during a walk in your neighborhood, or enjoying a deep belly laugh with a loved one, I hope you can find a soulful moment for yourself today and every day.
